The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia after the decision was ratified at the 2024 FIFA Congress. Contain your excitement, everyone.
Despite a domestic league where some clubs attract lower attendances than West Didsbury & Chorlton, their shocking human rights record, their archaic attitudes towards LGBTQ people and deadly summer temperatures, FIFA has paved the way for Saudi 2034 .
By restricting the bidding process and threatening Australia to make its own bid, world football's governing body has been swamped with enthusiasm. And not for the first time.
The prospect of a 104-match winter tournament in Saudi Arabia isn't exactly whetting the appetite, so we've identified 13 countries we'd rather see host the World Cup.
Please note: Countries that have hosted the World Cup since 1990 were not taken into account, including the 2026 host countries (Canada, Mexico and the United States) and the primary 2030 host countries (Morocco, Portugal and Spain).
Yes, Argentina will host one match in the 2030 finals thanks to FIFA's misguided plan to pave the way for the Saudis to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the World Cup.
But that is a meager reward for one of the most prominent football countries. We demand an entire tournament in the land of asado, tango and Maradona, where football is followed with such devotion that religion almost seems frivolous in comparison.
Add in Uruguay, the opening match at the Estadio Centenario in Montevideo, and we would already be booking plane tickets.
After successfully hosting the 2023 Women's World Cup, the next logical step would be for Australia and New Zealand to host the men's event.
Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, Auckland, Wellington and the rest would be great host cities. You could even host the event in June and July, when temperatures will give the tournament a Champions League last-16 aesthetic. It's almost too sensible for FIFA.
Despite professing their commitment to net zero and combating the climate crisis, FIFA has no qualms about giving elephant tournaments to states with little football heritage or infrastructure.
Neither of these applies to Belgium and the Netherlands, two small countries that love their football. Their bid for the 2018 edition was also the most environmentally friendly in history.
The thought of mussels in Brussels, chocolate in Liège, beer in Bruges and Rotterdam and cycling to competitions in Amsterdam makes the heart sing.
Semi-regulars at the World Cup in Colombia have produced some of the tournament's most appealing cult heroes (Rene Higuita, Carlos Valderrama, James Rodriguez) and some of its most colorful fans.
A tournament staged in the South American melting pot, including cities like Bogota, Medellin and Cali, would be merciful and balmy. Let it happen.
Egyptians love football, the country is a tourist hotspot and Mohamed Salah would be absolutely everywhere for a month. A no brainer.
Any West African World Cup would be almost the diametric opposite of Qatar and Saudi Arabia – unlikely due to financial constraints, but offering the most spectacular experience.
Nigeria, Africa's most populous country and second-richest, should bear the brunt of any hosting rights, but Ghana has hosted several African Cup of Nations and Accra would be a fitting venue for any semi-final.
If only the two rivals could stop bickering over Jollof and create the most romantic bid in World Cup history.
Forget China – Indonesia is Asian football's biggest underachiever. Their football is not about stadium disasters or corruption, but about passion, color and an all-encompassing love for the game.
Despite not qualifying for the World Cup since 1938, the archipelago is perhaps the most football-mad country in Asia and the Premier League is ravenously consumed by local supporters.
Southeast Asia would make an incredible World Cup host, especially if Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines were included in a future bid, and truly broke new ground.
If FIFA were serious about 'growing the game', hosting the World Cup in India would be a major statement of intent. The country may be crazy about cricket, but football is quickly gaining popularity.
Their chances of qualifying for the World Cup (they succeeded in 1950 but withdrew after FIFA banned them from playing barefoot) have increased following the expansion to 48 teams and the sport would be enriched as a more diverse group of Asian teams would participate in the final.
Imagine the scenes in Mumbai, Dehli and Bangalore if the Copa Mundial were to enter the city. It would be quite something.
Provided Erdogan is removed from office – no more World Cups should be rewarded for dictatorial lunatics – Turkey should host the tournament at some point.
With some of the most passionate fans in the world, Turkey already has an abundance of impressive stadiums and Istanbul is one of the most enticing cities in the world.
After Italy recently received joint hosting rights for Euro 2032, the infrastructure will be there too. Want to eat real kebab and baklava for a month while watching the best football players in the world show off? Yes, please.
Britain has the infrastructure, the stadiums, an obsessive love of football and the perfect summer climate to host the World Cup.
We apply the following conditions; stage races in the East Midlands (possibly Nottingham), Yorkshire (probably Leeds and possibly Sheffield) and have between one and two non-London venues in southern England (Brighton and Bristol are tourist-friendly and perfect for some of the smaller group races).
Choose Edinburgh because it is a popular travel destination with good connections. Don't choose Milton Keynes. Revamp Old Trafford, but leave Lou Macari's chip shop untouched. And make sure England plays some games away from Wembley.
It will never happen, unfortunately. But there is little doubt that Great Britain would host a fantastic tournament, as we will see with Euro 2028.
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