Sean Dyche is a self-proclaimed music fanatic, so he would understand why there could only be one song for this miserable situation: Another One Bites the Dust.
In the most chaotic decade in Everton's history, the latest manager has fallen by the wayside. Dyche joins a list that includes Carlo Ancelotti, Rafa Benitez, Sam Allardyce, Marco Silva, Roberto Martinez and Frank Lampard. There have also been caretaker spells for David Unsworth and Duncan Ferguson in that period.
For many supporters, the first big decision of the Friedkin Group era will be celebrated.
There has been considerable tension in the relationship between the terrace and the dugout in recent months. The low point reached last Saturday in Bournemouth when Everton were defeated 1-0 and had no shot on target.
Everton's form has been lamentable, with just one win – a 4-0 defeat to Wolves on December 4 – in 11 games since the clocks turned back in October. That run is identical to Koeman's in October 2017 and, as it stands, would have replicated the figures of Lampard (one win in 14) and Benitez (one win in 15) before they too were sucked into the Goodison vortex. .
But as is always the case with Everton, this story is complicated. It is possible to recognize that Dyche fell unacceptably short, while crediting him with having done a remarkable job in almost impossible circumstances. In fact, this club should have reached the Championship twice in the last two seasons, but that is largely thanks to him.
Many will raise their eyebrows at this statement, but Dyche's task was more difficult than that of Erik ten Hag and Ruben Amorim at Manchester United or Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. None of his contemporaries in the Premier League had been dealt such a hand.
Financial restrictions imposed by PSR, eight points deducted, an absentee owner in Farhad Moshiri who only corresponded with WhatsApp messages and stopped caring for a long time before selling, not to mention a team with many who would not be trusted to telling you that tomorrow is Saturday.
'Like juggling with sand', is how he described his work last spring. It was a nice and fitting analogy.
When Dyche first drove into Finch Farm in late January 2023 – Marcelo Bielsa, remember, had turned down the chance to become Lampard's successor – it's easy to forget how dangerous the situation was and few gave them a chance to survive, but somehow they did.
Dyche pulled from his first game against Arsenal a performance that was so out of step with everything that had gone before that he was depicted as Superman in images on social media. Everton won 1-0, after a James Tarkowski header, and the players themselves came to a standstill.
He knew he had to stimulate the mind and one of the things he introduced to Finch Farm was the 'Wheel Of Misfortune'; For example, if a player did not wear the correct socks during training, lost shin guards or was late, he spun the wheel and the punishment could be anything from a fine to singing a song for the team in the canteen. .
But those early months gave him an insight into what life at Everton was really like.
With all due respect to Burnley and Watford, Dyche arrived in a new world and found his head spinning at times, like how quickly news had spread through the city in April 2023 that Everton had lost a training match behind closed doors. 0 for National League North team Chester.
“It's just another negative story that everyone wants,” Dyche grumbled.
The problem was that the negative stories just kept coming. Some in Everton's Academy didn't like him because he didn't provide a pathway for young players; more disturbing was the lack of respect some team members had for him.
Privately, they sneered that he would absolve himself of blame if games were lost, but they had no qualms about telling them how much credit he should get after a win. What the whispers behind the back told you was that the atmosphere around Finch Farm was never far from toxic.
Last April, after a 6-0 defeat at Chelsea, it was put to him by Mail Sport that unless the attitude within changed, the cycle of misery would never be broken. He lifted the lid on what had been a frank exchange with the locker room.
“It's a fair question,” he said. 'I asked them, “Is this the cycle?” You want a new manager; you get one and everyone says, “Hooray!” Then, six months later, it's: “Boo! We want him out!” Are you just going to keep doing that? Is that where we are? I don't mind telling you this because people want the truth.”
Perhaps you won't be surprised to know that when the crew were told – appropriately at the Titanic Hotel – that Dyche and his staff's time had crashed into an iceberg, there was an immediate, positive change in their mood.
One day this group will look back and realize the role they played in this misery.
Because this has truly been a miserable time to be an Evertonian. Yes, that incredible stadium of 52,888 on the banks of the Mersey glitters beautifully on the city skyline and perhaps leaving Goodison Park is just what they need to start again and move forward.
One thing fans want is to be able to go to a game and enjoy themselves, and unfortunately for Dyche he was never going to be the manager who had that connection with them. Many Blues simply couldn't bear to watch his style of football any longer and the statistics were terrible.
From the start of last season, only 26 goals have been scored in open play, and you wonder how they are so toothless; they sold Romelu Lukaku in 2017 and have since spent £183.1 million on 12 strikers. Their recruitment has, quite frankly, been a disgrace. Until that changes, nothing will change.
So Dyche, whose biggest night was the 2-0 defeat to Liverpool last April, becomes a new statistic. He's looked hollow these past few weeks, exhausted by the negativity and trying to find answers to puzzles that couldn't be solved.
They said that governing England was the impossible task. Compared to Everton it's a walk in the park.
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