Former Liverpool -star Jason Mcateer has emotionally opened his mental health struggle since he withdrew from football and shares Bravely how he almost took his own life.
McATer, 53, played 100 games for Liverpool during a legendary career that also saw him the leading role for Bolton, Blackburn, Sunderland and Tranmere before hung up his boots in 2007.
The former republic of Ireland International has fought with depression and suicidal thoughts after his retirement and is struggling to adapt to his new life that no longer revolves around playing the beautiful game.
McATer, who now works' sporadically 'as an expert in his own words, broke down in tears and was brave this week for former Manchester United defender Mikael Silvestre on Bein Sports' Trophies Podcast this week.
The Reds -legend shared how almost his own life took by deliberately crashing his car and admitting that he “fights himself not to do it” while he was on his way to pick up his son Harry.
The emotional memory reduced McATer to tears when he powerfully opened his mental health struggle.
“I just had no goal, no structure,” said Mcateer. 'The TV dings, I didn't work every day of the week, it might be one or two shows a week. It was very sporadic. Days and days and days with nothing to do.
'I came to the tunnel, between the Wirral and Liverpool, because my child with whom I maintained this relationship lived on the other side of this tunnel under difficult circumstances.
'I drove through the tunnel and it is upset because it brings me back to this moment and I can feel it, and while you go the daylight in the tunnellicht, I remember that I thought it to myself, I could just swing the car here and just end it. That's how easy it is. And I fight myself not to do it.
“I fought:” Do it, do it, do it, do it “. And I would say, “No, no”. And I would fight against the steering wheel. And I remember that I came to the end of the tunnel and the daylight had opened and the tunnel came out, I thought: “Thank goodness, God, thank goodness.
'I went to my boy and took him forward, and I drove home and came to my mother's house, she lived around the corner for 10 minutes. I knocked on her door and I remember that I just said, “I can't do it anymore. That's it, just at the time”. It was difficult.
“Everything had disappeared. I don't miss it half. I miss everything about playing. Simply on, free on a Footy Pitch. No problems. I have to sort myself here. Nothing in life is a problem for those 90 minutes. It's just the best, it's just the best. '
McATer, who also opened for his struggle with depression in his Autobiography Blood, Sweat & Jason Mcater 2017 2017, continued by insisting on administrative bodies to support retired players while adapting to a new life without football.
He added: 'The evolution of football, not only football on the field and the business side of things, but also the mental side of it. It must improve.
'It is slowly but surely to get there and the stigma is split, but I think people find it difficult to understand the void that actually remains and where it can bring you mentally.
“I don't think it is taken care of enough by football federations and that it must be tackled, to be honest.”
For support Call Samaritans on 116123 in the VK or visit www.samaritans.org or www.thecalmzone.net/getupport, or call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on 988 in the US.
Comments