Mastery of the Dark Arts is one of the most underrated qualities of football. Many think they are in it, but the truth is that some are much better at it than others.
We would put together a SH*Thous XI, but it soon became clear that this kind of player is found disproportionately in the middle of the park, whether in midfield, the central midfield or the center of the middle.
It is logical – why would they not want to be in the middle of all of this at all times, but it is something that we had not yet considered in great depth. Yet, without further delay, here is our overview of 13 from the game chef.
There was a stage during the time of Jens Lehmann in Arsenal when you could not see a fight in a Gunners match without the German goalkeeper being involved – it would not matter whether he had nothing to do with the incident that it encouraged, or even if he was in the same half of the field.
Keepers is expected to dive, just not the way of the man who made us well aware that the word 'invincible' referred to the results and nothing more. They will definitely not be expected to get involved in fights, but Lehmann was another race.
Read: celebration of Drogba and Lehmann's ridiculous pantomime 'dive off'
If there was a prize for most head-to-head collisions with opponents, Pepe would certainly win. But he kept guiding you: would he light the nut or throw himself on the floor that hurts?
Or, as with the 2018 World Cup, would he both do? After he disrupted Mehdi Benatia with a big challenge during Portugal's group work against Morocco, Pepe threw himself on the floor when Benatia tapped him on his back for a row and realized that he missed and jumped up to go to toe. It was classic Pepe.
He got away with things just as often when he was caught in the act and he was caught a lot.
It was between Huth and Jon Walters of the Stoke City side of Tony Pulis, but Huth is running out the more subtle sh*thousery of his former colleague and used his unique talents well to win the Premier League title with Leicester City.
One of the funniest men in football, Huth even managed to inspire one of the great Louis van Gaal-press conferences after pulling the hair of Marouane Fellaini in 2016, so that the then Boss-Boss boss of Manchester United said: “It is not in the books that someone is allowed to grab it.” Hair. “
It would be impossible to complete this list without the man who came away with the highest moment of SH*Thusery in football history.
Arrange one in the SH*Thous manual is to never give up, how much it seems like you have failed. As long as there is time left on the clock, there is time for you to win your chosen battle.
Sergio Ramos is not a sh*thousense, he is a sh*thotel. From pulling the pants of opponents if they are not looking for tactical red cards, the Spaniard has everything in his repertoire.
He does not always get away with it, as emphasized when Real Madrid was eliminated from the Champions League in his planned suspension in 2019, but Ramos almost always seems to have the last smile.
He is the Anti-James Bond, who gives his critics just enough material to make them think that this is the time that will triumph about evil, only to always win.
Speaking of murderers with a baby face, Lamela's early struggles at Spurs can easily be put down to the fans, not knowing what kind of player they got.
Aesthetically, Lamela seems to be a flair player whose biggest vice goes down too easily, making his excavations and stairs much easier to get away with.
You may have wanted a signature at the time, but Tottenham lets other players score the goals. The presence of someone to break out the game and to mentally break the opposition will always be invaluable.
Read: Nine times Erik Lamela was the ultimate SH*Thous from the Premier League
When Jose Mourinho led Inter in 2010 to the Champions League title, he would always need a player who encapsulated his own mentality to step on everyone to exceed the finish line.
Motta was not always the most talented player, but he was well trained in the dark arts and was well aware of his own ceiling. This meant on those occasions that he knew that he was unable to wear a team himself, he was more than able to bring an opponent to his own level. And in a sense that is not so useful?
When Motta was sent in the semi-final against Barcelona, he was not furious because the decision was necessarily hard, but because, after he was so gone, that is what he was punished for.
Busquets was the man on the receiving side of Motta's red card error in that semi -final, and the appearance of the belly position of Barcelona's midfielder who discovered his face to have a secret look around, will live in the memory for a long time.
It is the act of the man who has been on both sides of this kind of fighting and knows which buttons they have to press. Busquets' sh*thousery will be made a notch if you realize that he does not have to do this, and probably just gets a kick.
I know what you think, brown was caught and sent a lot away for an assumed SH*Thous.
Well, you are right to a certain extent, but have you stopped to think that he was not such an efficient SH*Thouse, he was sent in every game? That's what we thought.
The best sh*thouses are the most dedicated; Those who never take a day off. People like Batty, who did this in a friendly.
Read: a forensic analysis of David Batty Pesting Sampdoria only for fun
If you are against Mark van Bommel, you have two tasks. You have to get better, and you have to control your own mind to prevent you from obstructing it at a certain moment.
Van Bommel was the child who was in class behind you and you stung his pen when the teacher's back was turned.
Even when you were patient enough not to rise to the bait, your attention was taken from your A-game to concentrate on the non-ruining he had more than one way to win.
Herrera may be Van Bommel-Lite, but that is still a fairly good place to be.
Manchester United always needs an element of Snide in their squadrons to maintain their image of Pantomime villains.
If your identity is based on the hated to get away with things, what is better than someone whose face shouts: “Who, me?” But whose actions indicate a feeling of guilt that has been betrayed by those looks.
We miss it looking at him in the Premier League.
Costa is the SH*Thous's Sh*Thous.
When the next generation of mini-sh*thouses goes to SH*Thous High School, they have Diego Costa patches on their backpacks and posters of him in their lockers.
Before the lessons start, they will see videos in which he sent Arsenal's Gabriel Paulista. He will be all the instruction clips that they look at in class and show them how far the thread should pull without going too far. In short, he is the highlight.
Read: 11 times Diego Costa was a huge SH*Thous: Ramos, Gabriel, Alonso …