You can label the mocking name you want.
Hell Clasico? The donkey derby? The collision of the SH ** E 'UNS?
Or, as a brilliant header in this newspaper said it, “Bilbao Bobbins.”
But tonight will bring us a cup final like no other.
The worst, the most illogical and yet the most intriguing, showpiece match European football has ever known.
Even if Ange Postecoglou wins the Europa League, he is still fired. If Ruben loses Amorim, he will probably survive.
And yet when the 'Glory, Glory' Boys of Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur Face Face here in the Basque Country Tonight tonight, the deployment will be clouds.
Champions League football for the winners, Oblivion for the losers.
Because here are two of the five worst sides in the Premier League, two finalists who have forty -four defeats between them in all competitions, fighting for one of the big prizes of football this season.
While the magical 40-point barrier used to be a guarantee for the Premier League survival, Spurs of United will secure a place in the European elite tonight without even reaching it.
But instead of trying to belittle this competition by claiming that the winners do not earn a qualification of Champions League – as Arsene Wenger and many others have done – we should celebrate it.
Unpredictability is what knockout football makes special. The best team in the country always wins the title. But underdogs can win cups.
And although these are two filthy rich 'big six' underdogs, they play as Lowdown Mongrels throughout the season.
United would not have even qualified for the Europa League if it was not for the toenagel Var offside call that Coventry City denied a ridiculous 4-3 comeback victory in the semi-final of last season.
But what? Cup football can be glorious stupid. That's a bit the point.
It certainly did not stop with tens of thousands of fans traveling on trains, invading in-ruling aircraft, cars and ferries of Bilbao through air, land and sea to be the San Mames in Estadio tonight.
Logistics makes it a mix here between the race of the BBC around the world and the crazy races of Hanna-Barbera.
But trophies make memories.
Man Utd vs Spurs -Europa League final: kick -off time, TV channel and live stream -Info for bilbao clash
Newcastle fans will remember this season for winning the Carabao Cup for much longer than they will remember that they will finish third or fourth in the competition.
Proponents of United, and especially those of Spurs, would cherish this night if their team wins.
You can make a strong case for both sides to prevail. Spurs seem to have the number of United – winning all three of their earlier meetings this season.
And if you believe in signs, that this is a year for Droertbusting-Nadat Crystal Palace had won their very first great silverware ever and Newcastle put an end to a waiting time of 70 years, no first trophy in 17 years for Spurs?
Yet, despite all their Muppetry in the competition, United has the recent trophy-winning experience.
They lifted the FA Cup last season, as well as the Carabao Cup last year, under former boss Erik ten Hag – a man whose stock seems to rise after every match that Amorim takes the lead.
Man Utd vs Spurs -Europa League final: kick -off time, TV channel and live stream -Info for bilbao clash
In Bruno Fernandes, United has the best player in the final, while the most important creative influences of Spurs – James Maddison and Dejan Kulusevski – abuse due to injury.
And if we go with signs again, then Jose Mourinho won on this day, May 21, 2003, at the age of 40, three months and 24 days.
His colleague Portuguese, Amorim, is only one day younger.
But to be honest, who knows, when the form book reads like this: United Two Points from their last eight Premier League matches; Tottenham five points of their last 11.
Both teams have been doing it on Thursday evening for months and throw it away on Sunday afternoon.
The route from United to Bilbao was more difficult, their semi-final that the athletic club of the final had beaten, was particularly impressive, while their quarter-final Comeback victory on Lyon was certainly the most amazing football match that played this season.
Tottenham's defeat of 2022 Champs Eintracht Frankfurt was their only remarkable scalp.
It could be said that this competition is proof of the depth of the Premier League, when the 16th and 17th placed clubs contest a European final.
But there has been no English winner of the Europa League since Maurizio Sarri's Chelsea defeated the Arsenal of Unai Emery in 2019 – when two managers met short rule in London in Azerbaijan for another final as a scrap between two average teams.
Nevertheless, Chelsea and Arsenal finished third and fifth respectively.
That final had nothing on this.
The Europa League has become more logical this season, now purer, now that clubs of the Champions League no longer parachuting in its knockout phase.
It has also become easier to win – under the old format, Manchester City, Juventus, Monaco and Sporting Lisbon would have been deposited in this competition.
But nobody will remember that in the coming years.
Man Utd vs Spurs -Europa League final: kick -off time, TV channel and live stream -Info for bilbao clash
This is Win-Or-Bust, Death-Or-Glory, with Champions League qualification swelling treasure chest and both clubs to a more desired summer destination for new players.
Big Ange says that he 'always wins a trophy' in his second season, but again, none of his previous second seasons was in Spurs.
Amorim says that this could be 'the worst united team in history' and yet their Europa League run, just like last season's FA Cup progression, has called on a number of impossible victories, as if, no matter how bad they are, there is still a strange kind of magic deep in the club.
So for what it is worth, here is a kind of prediction: United to equalize in the last minute of extra time by improvised Center-Forward Harry Maguire.
And then the longest penalty shootout in the history of European football, in which at least 40 consecutive spotkicks are missed …