Let's just call him Saint Christopher, the patron saint of footballing travelers.
A journeyman, goalkeeper, hero to all, who is living proof that good things can happen for those who end a loan spell at Barnsley after seven games and no goals.
The Indian Summer of Chris Wood's career was the feel-good story of 2024.
Nottingham Forest are Wood's FIFTEENTH club and at 33 the big Kiwi outfit are on course to lead them to the Champions League.
At a time when old-fashioned spitz are officially recognized as an endangered species by the World Wildlife Fund, Wood is leading the revival as an unusually voluptuous panda.
And despite decent spells at Leeds and Burnley, no one saw this coming.
Newcastle's Saudi owners were ridiculed for panic buying when they gave £25m to a 30-year-old Wood three years ago.
And the Toon Army grinned when Forest spent £15million on his contract 18 months ago – until Boxing Day last year, when Wood turned up at St James' Park and scored a hat-trick, including two gloriously cool finishes.
On Sunday, Wood scored Forest's opener in a 2-0 win over Everton with a rinky-dink chip, leaving Nuno Espirito Santo's side second in the table and belying his unfair caricature as a limited draft horse.
Toffees boss Sean Dyche, who oversaw Wood's previous best spell at Burnley, credited him with being the difference between the two sides.
Wood also played for West Brom, Brighton, Birmingham, Bristol City, Millwall, Leicester and Ipswich, as well as three clubs in his home country of New Zealand.
He was on the Baggies' books for four years, but scored more on loan during that time (five) than goals for his parent club (two).
That loan at Oakwell with the Tykes, a deal that was torn up by mutual consent, was an early setback from which Wood recovered quite well.
For most of his career he was seen as a decent Championship striker, winning promotion at Leicester and scoring 27 goals in a second season at Leeds.
But that Wood has scored 21 times in the Premier League since Boxing Day 2023 – more than Kai Havertz or Ollie Watkins, more than twice as many as Marcus Rashford – is extraordinary and encouraging.
Wood narrowly missed the Premier League's biggest miracle when he was sold by Leicester to Leeds in the summer before their 2015/16 title triumph.
At the time, the rise of Jamie Vardy, playing for Stocksbridge Park Steels with an offender sticker on his ankle, was the Hollywood storyline.
But if Nuno's Forest reach the Champions League – as looks increasingly possible after a fifth straight win – it would be English football's most unlikely story since the Foxes topped the pile.
Roaming gunmen for hire are a great breed of football.
Peter Withe, one of the best of that stock, won Aston Villa the European Cup while playing for the tenth of his thirteen clubs.
Wood is far from the most nomadic of all. Trevor Benjamin represented 29 clubs, from the Premier League to the Northern League Division Two, during a career spanning 16 years.
Meanwhile, legendary non-league highwayman Jefferson Louis has changed clubs 51 TIMES and is still going strong for Southern League Thame United, at the age of 45.
But Wood is now the standard-bearer for these merry travelers – not to mention the air miles New Zealand has racked up in an 80-cap international career.
He spends international breaks on the other side of the world, scoring scores of goals in routine, ferocious batterings of Pacific Islanders from Samoa, Tahiti and Vanuatu.
This isn't the only heartwarming personal story at City Ground. Nuno was seen as a failed flush after a miserable spell at Tottenham, but Forest are now thirteen points above their former employers.
Ryan Yates enjoyed a loan spell from Barrow to Scunthorpe before playing a starring role in his hometown club's journey to the brink of history.
Callum Hudson-Odoi, Morgan Gibbs-White and Anthony Elanga all struggled to fully shine in the Premier League before settling at the Tricky Trees.
And the Serbian star Nikola Milenkovic is the reincarnated Nemanja Vidic.
Those who remember Brian Clough leading Forest to back-to-back European Cups will relish his old club's revival.
Nottingham has as many European Cups as London, Paris and Rome combined.
This is a great club and, at the forefront, there is a man with a mission that revolves mainly around the houses.
True 'East' End star
IT was encouraging to see the warm reception West Ham fans gave to Ludo Miklosko on Sunday after their 63-year-old former goalkeeper announced he has withdrawn from further cancer treatments.
There were very few foreign footballers in English football when Czech Miklosko signed for the Hammers in 1990 – and even fewer from behind the old Iron Curtain.
But during eight years as a player, and another spell as goalkeeping coach at Hammers, the great Ludo became the definition of a cult hero.
He also managed to inspire one of the most geographically challenging terrace chants of all time: “My name is Ludo Miklosko, I am from near Moscow.”
Miklosko's hometown of Prostejov is closer to East London than to the Russian capital.
Sell away
THE transfer window opens this week and the questions are endless.
Will Manchester City sign a replacement for Rodri? Will Arsenal get a real centre-forward?
Will anyone in their right mind join Southampton on their way to the worst season in Premier League history?
But whatever happens, don't believe the old chestnut that good long-term contracts can't be made mid-season.
Liverpool bought Luis Suarez and Virgil van Dijk in the New Year sale, while Sir Alex Ferguson signed Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra in the same January week.
Dart Madd
FURIOUS among Tottenham fans on social media that James Maddison took to the darts at Ally Pally after the 2-2 home draw with Wolves.
How dare their leading Premier League goalscorer go out and have some fun?
Because, as we all know, the best way to get over a frustrating day at the office is to sit alone in a darkened room and never, under any circumstances, go out and enjoy yourself anywhere.
Go 'All-in'
There was a 20-man brawl in the tunnel at half-time during Newcastle's 3-0 defeat to Aston Villa last week.
And I don't know about you, but I was stunned to hear that Jason Tindall, Toon manager Eddie Howe's number 2, was shown a red card for being at the center of it all.
Good luck finding character witnesses if there is an FA hearing.
A VERY Happy New Year to you all!
On to 2025, to triumphs Down Under in The Ashes and for the Lions, to Ryder Cup glory for Europe in the United States, to England qualifying for the World Cup in style under Thomas Tuchel – and to a stunning collapse for Liverpool in the title race.
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