Cole Palmer cannot understand why one of my children is wearing a Colle Palmer Chelsea shirt.
When the boys score a goal in the garden, I explain, they shout 'cold!', In the same way as their elderly people for a long time 'Siuuu!' Scream! 'In worship of Cristiano Ronaldo. He is the exclamation mark of this generation.
“Yes, yes, but why did you let him get a Chelsea shirt when he is a newcastle fan?”
Because you transcend the tribalism. You are a player who invites us to leave our loyalty at the Tourniquet. That's nice, yes?
“Yes,” he starts, but the start of a lyrical monologue is not. “It is clear that when you see children and that does what they do and say that, it's fun.”
And the nickname, Cold Palmer?
'Yes, I don't mind. It's fine. '
The Palmer company is strange hypnotic. In the same way, a silent film makes you work a little harder, to lean a little closer, he ensures that you think – and speak.
It is tea time in the base camp of England, the Camiral Golf & Wellness Resort here in Catalonia. We are in the clubhouse, where a portrait of Jack Nicklaus, a master -corator, the enigmatic mutter of Palmer framed. Thomas Tuchel has given his players the afternoon off. What have you done?
“Just went on a bike ride, not.”
He was sitting on his bike in Germany last summer when he looked at England's English back room team, managed by Kieran Trippier and including Jimmy Floyd Hasselbown, beat American journalists 7-0. We then won a penalty shootout.
“I don't remember. I couldn't tell you if you were good, “he says.
He is not here to flatter or cheat. The appreciation of talent – or otherwise – will be one way, and that should be. Palmer should have played more at the euro. While others in his positions sometimes played with a surly withdrawal, Palmer played – always from the couch, unfortunately – with imagination and a smile, albeit a metaphorical one.
“My mother says, like, try to be a little more involved and a little more smiley and energetic and that,” he says, this is a wink to his public attitude.
“But my father says:” He is just like me, so just leave him alone “. Like, me and my father are just too relaxed, I think. '
This week started with Formula 1 in Barcelona.
“Yes, it was good. Not long ago I went to that in Abu Dhabi. But I fell asleep. This one, I was awake. '
You fell asleep?
“Yes, I don't know what it was.”
It requires a certain type of zen to sleep at the Grand Prix. Yet his revelation does not feel at all. Cole Palmer was a nap while cars race around him at 230 mph, so what? After all, it is the way he plays football – as if he has his finger on the remote control. Speed ​​up. Vertraa. Break. He is the director. Only, between January and May of this season, the film no longer rolled. There were 18 games without a goal. Why?
'Don't know. You tell me. '
Perhaps it is because you are a young man – 23 last month – and the expectation on the back of 14 goals in the first half of the season suddenly weighed hard?
“I don't know,” he starts, but what follows is Palmer's spoken equivalent of war and peace. 'I just think it was one of those things if it didn't happen for me. It went a little longer than I thought it would continue. But I spoke to people about it and they explained that it would happen. But they said that when I get out, I will be an even better player than what I was before I went in. I know players go through it. I'm not stupid.
“You go to Chelsea and you do that from a jump, and then you go into a dive, you just think:” What's going on? ” I don't mind. It clearly thought I was sorry, but I didn't think it was the end of the world. '
Palmer rediscovered his shape in the last weeks when Chelsea qualified for the Champions League and the Europa Conference League won. So, was that the medal of his second European winners, or his first? He was on the couch when Manchester City inter -Milan defeated to lift the Champions League in 2023.
“I always say, I don't feel like a winner of the Champions League, when I'm honest,” he says, and everything he says goes with an assumption of honesty. “It doesn't really mean something to me. I was not involved. I clearly played in the group and things like that, but it's not the same, right? '
Have you held the medal?
'Yes, I clearly did not throw it away! I still have it, but it is not as if I have the feeling that I won it. '
This feels so close when Palmer comes irritation. It says a lot for his way of thinking that it is that it is that a price removes that others would like to bear, regardless of the contribution.
Unlike Zuiderlingen – who he says are too stressed and too moody – something else ever disturbs him? Like, when was the last time you were really finished?
“There. I don't really know. Sorry, I don't know. '
Silence.
'Maybe when I played PlayStation or something. I am not just a robot as you think in the media that I am not and not showing emotion. If there are no cameras and I am on the phone to my friends and I do things that I like to do … '
However, his off-pitch attitude has become something of an atmosphere. It is unmistakably mancunian -generation Z Thu 90s Indie, only in fewer words.
“Yes, I can be like that outside the field, but then on the field …”
Is it like a switch?
'Yes.'
This conversation has a few minutes to run – you suspect time for 20 questions – before Palmer returns to his teammates from England. He was immediately able to walk into a map school and clean up, I propose, given his face, rarely betrays his hand.
“I have to learn to play,” he says. “I can't play Uno. I don't play cards. I sometimes play blackjack. '
The aim of this camp in Spain, prior to Saturday's qualifying match against Andorra, is to acclimatize for the final of next summer in North America. You get the feeling that Palmer still acclimatizes his fame and popularity. We are around the circle.
You need to know why the children idolates you?
'Don't know. I'm just myself. '
Less than half an hour in his presence offers a few instructions why. He is okay with who he is. He has the keys to his own kingdom. He just has to realize that a million young people are waiting in the window who all want to be.
Palmer gets up to leave, with all the urgency of a sixth Vormer on his way to double mathematics. Maybe he enjoyed chat. He was certainly polite and no questions were forbidden.
But one more before you go – what should my boy do with his colmer Palmer Chelsea shirt?
“Wear it!” He says, and with that he is gone.
Talk small, but a big impression.