Some time ago, and he doesn't know exactly when, it dawned on Harry Winks that it had been worth it, that the decisions made to move sideways and backwards in the hope of one day moving forward again had been the right ones.
Perhaps it was when Leicester manager Steve Cooper asked him to captain for a recent match against Manchester United. Or maybe it was before that, when Leicester were promoted from the Championship last May.
Or maybe it was simpler. Maybe it just came from the simple joy of playing regularly again.
'The holy grail state of mind', as Winks calls it.
But it doesn't really matter when it happened, just that it happened. The lessons learned and bruises healed had once again given way to opportunity, happiness and a sense of moving forward.
Winks won ten caps for England and played in a Champions League final for Tottenham at the age of 23. But after twenty years of being associated with a club that he joined at the age of five and first started watching as a fan at the age of six, it was spat out. Injuries did not help with a move to Sampdoria in Italy. He arrived in August 2022 and did not play a minute until the following January. “Of course you feel guilty,” he says.
So then it was off to Leicester and the second tier of English football. Another bold move. But now here he is, sitting in a small room on a snowy afternoon at Leicester's training ground, with a big smile on his face. The second coming of Harry Winks is just around the corner.
“I don't have a huge ego,” Winks, 28, tells Mail Sport. 'But maybe it had to take a while before I could do what I did. But that's normal.
“I just made a deal with myself that I would give it my all and leave the ego and everything at the door.
'Because you are punished as soon as your ego comes into training or football. I didn't want that. I had to move forward again and I feel like I did that.
“Being happy and enjoying driving in and seeing the guys and the staff and working in a place where you want to be just feels priceless. That's how it is every day here. It's not work. It's a club I moved to very quickly and wearing the armband for that match is one of the highlights of my career.”
Leicester will take on Chelsea at the King Power Stadium next Saturday afternoon when the Premier League returns. Winks made 128 appearances in top-flight football for Tottenham after making his debut in 2016 at the age of 20.
He is an agile, clever midfielder and now admits he thought he was done. He wasn't. Injuries and a change of managers at Spurs negatively affected his position. By the time he left for Italy just over two years ago, he had all but disappeared from view.
“I found myself becoming a bit bitter towards the end of my Tottenham career,” Winks admits. 'You know that feeling as a youth academy player, it is always easier to drop. The fans are the first to blame you when things aren't going well for the team.
“You get to a point where you're in a bit of trouble and you have to get positive again, play well and enjoy football again.
'If you have been in the football world for a while, you learn how it actually works. It's not my football club. They don't owe me anything. It's business.
'There will always be a transition period where it is difficult to get through. But if you start to feel a little bitter and blame each other, then it's time to break up. I knew it was time and the club knew it and that meant it was amicable and that's great because I didn't want any hard feelings.
'The club was great for me. Without Tottenham I wouldn't be where I am today. Fortunately it worked out for me.'
Winks loved Italy, despite twisting his ankle during his very first training session. An operation followed.
“I wanted people to look at me and realize that I loved to travel and do what was best for my career,” he explains. “Overall I had a great experience there.”
However, it turns out he liked Leicester more. Some players go to the championship and never come back. Some clubs do that too. Enzo Maresca breathed new life into Winks and the Midlands club and after the 28-year-old started 45 of 46 games last season, Leicester became champions.
Maresca returns to King Power as Chelsea manager on Saturday and Winks said: “He is a top coach. The way players here watch football will never be the same after working with Enzo. It really opened our minds to a new way of playing. He is showing how good he is as a manager at Chelsea and we are all sure he will do very well there.”
Maresca's vision on football matches that of Winks. There are shades of it in Cooper's strategies, too. It's about passing and playing with freedom. The second part of this is of particular importance for someone like Winks, a player who often receives the ball deep in dangerous defensive areas and tries to initiate forward movements.
“This is the most important thing in football,” he says, warm to the theme. “I've met a lot of coaches who said, 'Make a mistake, it's no problem, it's football.' But they don't mean it. Two days later your mistake appears on the big screen during the debriefing.
'But some managers will make sure you know that if you make a mistake it's their fault. They gave you the freedom to do it. So you go onto the field with a feeling of freedom and know that it doesn't matter. That is the difference and there is also a domino effect. That knowledge ensures that you make fewer mistakes in the first place.'
Winks has also heard the debate about adultery. The Premier League highlights are awash with clips of deep-lying players getting into trouble with the ball.
“When you're on the field, it's not nearly as exciting as some fans think,” Winks laughs. 'I think keeping the ball is the best way. It's the best form of defense.
'It's about trust. I swear I feel calm in those situations. Since I was five, I was encouraged to grab the ball in such situations. To take it from the goalkeeper.
'The alternative is that he kicks the ball 40 meters, the opponent wins the ball and then they can score. Obviously it's not just holding the ball for fun. But loving it with the intention of having a plan is for me, yes.
'I don't think you can really be mixed. I think it's difficult. When you send mixed signals to players, it is difficult to know in which situation they should play short, play long or look for second balls.
'If you have players on different wavelengths and you don't know what to do, it is always difficult to get the best out of the team.'
Winks emphasizes several times that his immediate focus is on Leicester. He has learned to look at the game in the short term. But when Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville recently said Winks could be valuable for England again, he heard it.
“Yes, I saw that,” he nods. 'It was nice to read the praise of a player of that caliber. Of course, I always think about England and would love to be part of the team again.
'But I know how England works. You have to perform well for your team and you have to be in a position where you are probably quite high in the league as well. That's something else to think about.
'But since I came here my first priority has to be performing for Leicester and everything else will take care of itself.'
Winks did not watch England's recent Nations League matches against Greece and Ireland. Ahead of the domestic winter programme, which he expects to be as demanding as ever, he prioritized a mental reset and some time with his partner – pregnant for the first time – and their dog Belle.
However, he knows it's there, just as he knows there might be more bumps in the road. Halfway through his career, he knows – if he's lucky – where everything should be in his head. That's called experience.
“You learn to become numb to things and I definitely went through that transition from feeling a certain way to how I feel now,” he says. 'I got angry and looked back. At the time, I was getting frustrated and angry with the way I was moving from one situation to the next.
'But that's all over now and the only thing I've realized is that it's about finding the right club, a club that wants you. That pivotal moment was probably when I came to Leicester.
“You come through at 20 or 21 and you're playing and everything is great. Everyone is excited about you and you think, “This is easy.”
'Then you get to a point where it gets a bit bad and you think, “Oh god, I didn't expect this to happen.”
'You have to balance that. It's about the challenge of staying positive and mellowing and not getting too low or too high. And when you're young, that's a challenge.
'Then you get older and you like hearing that from Gary Neville, but you also know that you have to concentrate on it again this weekend, otherwise it won't mean anything.
'And it's Saturday and it's Chelsea and you know you have to play well and then you have to think about the game afterwards. Dedicate yourself to training every day. And if things don't go well, it doesn't matter, because you know you can move on to the next one.
“That's what this life is really about.”
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