Jesse Lingard still looks at Manchester United, usually on television from his apartment in Seoul.
“Usually they are the highlights,” he says Mail Sport with a smile. 'There is a time difference of nine hours, so I usually lie in bed. But they are still my club. '
It is almost three years since Lingard left Old Trafford and it was painful. Because the United slide had collected from the foreground pace, he became a lightning rod for criticism.
But there is no more pain, only proud of a boyhood realized dream and some empathy for those who now walk their own difficult path in a place that he still calls home.
“The expectation to be united in a big club as a man, nobody really knows,” he explains. 'That pressure to put on the shirt. It's about whether you can deal with it or not.
'Look at Bruno (Fernandes). He can. I love Bruno dead. We spoke a lot when I was there and he always wanted to do it so well.
“I would say that he is now the most important figure and that is what you need. A few more leaders. '
Lingard can now speak with a little more detachment. He moved and, more importantly, continued. Sitting on his couch with a pink beanie and a few white earphones, he talks for an hour about what life is now and what it once was.
First, he is mentally and physically good. He wasn't always like that. An Achilles injury destroyed a season in Nottingham Forest and a knee problem his first weeks at FC Seoul.
In the meantime, the toll of his mother's mental health problems were emotionally in his last days at United.
“I hid a lot then,” he says. “I shouldn't have done it. I was not a shirt. I am different now. '
In terms of his football he found a place – in the South Korean capital at the age of 32 – that feels like a refuge.
He is Captain of FC Seoul and the most famous player of the K-League. His family-included his six-year-old daughter Hope-Is in England and that is difficult.
“I occasionally cried at the airport,” he admits. But his love for football and his personal equalibrium have returned.
“Life is great again,” he says. 'Sometimes you just have to get away. I had reached that point.
“But I love Seoul. It was really interesting. Many places to go, good food. Hard training and always learning. It can go a bit crazy if I go out. Sometimes I wear a mask – such as a Covid mask – but it doesn't work!
'So I do the photos and try to sign everything because one day I will retire and nobody will ask me anymore. They love me as a person and they seem to like as a football player. It's great to see.
'The standard of football is high, very technical. I really enjoy it. I view the English highlights and there is so much time and space on the ball! Here it is tight and they really like running. I am marked by humans.
'I play like a no. 10 and I try to follow the ref. Someone told me years ago to stay close to the referee while he picks up the best positions. Look at the Premier League the next time you look … “
Lingard had offers from Europe, South America and the US before he went to Asia, but usually only in short contracts. Many, it seems, had bought the publicity around Lingard – that he was flash and was no longer really dedicated to his career.
That still follows him now. He spoke for the first time about his emotional difficulties in a post -port interview, while he was still a United player in December 2019. At that time he was effectively his younger brother and sister, while his mother Kirsty received a residential treatment for depression.
But not everyone listened. Earlier this year, Lingard had a rare nibble on social media with someone who accused him and his friend Paul Pogba of destroying the culture in Old Trafford.
“I don't even go there anymore, but I did see that and just asked the man to explain it,” he says. 'We actually have some nice reactions from other people. I love Paul by pieces. He is one of my best friends. We speak every day.
“But I thought:” What was the culture anyway? '
'Because we are in the first team, you know, it is clearly the right place, the right time to do things and things like that.
“But ruin the culture? We have only tried to make it stronger. We responded to success and we smiled and laughed and we won games. So that's a good culture, yes?
“Wayne Rooney told me:” Don't buy your first car until you have played 50 games. ” Of course there were 50 games and I drove in a Range Rover, parked and Rooney is like: “Whose is that? Have you played 50 games now?”
“And I was accepted. I never tried to flash. Of course, if you have fun things, you sometimes want to show them. But the photographers would follow me and take pictures of me in my car every time we entered.
“But I don't post that or put it on the Daily Mail, am I?”
Lingard is no self -consciousness. He knows he made some mistakes. Likewise, he does not accept the story that his career has been a failure.
Shorter in England, maybe he had liked it, but not a failure. FA Cup, League Cup and Europa League medals and an appearance in the semi-final of the 2018 World Cup all at its point.
“I don't feel 100 percent failing, I feel performance,” he says. 'You just have to look at my story of seven years old, a child from Warrington is going through it completely. The percentages are approximately 0.2 percent or something. I was chosen.
'You have to work hard. Go to excavations and leave your family at the age of 12 and move schools and sit in a different environment. And I was the smallest. I was small. Sometimes I had to play for a year. So I went through the mill, from the point of view of football.
“I made my debut and then got injured and got out for six months and then came back. Did I play again for United? I didn't know.
'A loan to Derby and others. At one point I had Newcastle on the table. I could have disappeared. I debated it with myself.
“It's a fight. It is like a roller coaster, especially so young. And at that moment you only think: “I have to play football”.
“Fergie always believed in me. That was really the only thing for me. Sir Alex knows football. That meant everything, you know. To say that when I was young, that I would be in the first team by 22 or 23, was really something and that clearly happened every day.
“At that time I just thought:” Is he magic? What kind of sorcery is this? Do you know what I mean? '
'I am happy and satisfied, because whatever happened was for a reason. Scoring in a cup final, playing for my country, the World Cup, scoring at the World Cup. Nobody ever takes that from me. '
Lingard is always gently spoken, but not often reluctant. However, he is reserved on the subject of West Ham. His top career flashed back to life in East London during a successful loan saying in the first half of 2021 and he had the chance there in the summer of 2022, only to move to the forest instead.
“I will save it for a rainy day,” he says. 'I don't really want to go into detail, but there was a lot on the table for me.
'Then all people get involved, and you know, things start to go aside and your mind is influenced. At that time I was really not a man who pronounced himself.
“I liked being in the forest at the time. Great club. Great fan base. I was injured for most of the season, my Achilles tendon, which was disappointing. '
Lingard hopes to play for another four years or so and would consider the MLS or the VAE. However, the Premier League holds his heart and he believes that he will stay fit enough to return. Extra gym work has helped him and his statistics are currently showing that he covers more than seven miles in one game.
As far as the longer term is concerned, he has his thoughts on a complete career pivot.
“I have always thought of acting,” he reveals. 'I tell a football player not to just trust football. If there is an investment to do that is safe, and you have good people in the area to do it, do it. If you want to do real estate, do it. Don't be afraid.
'Social things should be at the right time and I think that sometimes was sticky for me. Looking back I can see that.
'I don't know if I needed acting lessons, but perhaps help with remembering lines and things like that. I think I have to start now to be honest. I try to do something here to go up as a show already, or something. A cameo appearance. '
Lingard's residence in Seoul has been more permanent and if it has not saved him, it will certainly be helped to cure him. It is suspected that there will occasionally be more challenges for him. He still wears an atmosphere of slight vulnerability.
But his mother is doing well and he doesn't regret his life on these pages five years ago on these pages.
“The turnaround from a few years ago until now was great for her,” he laughs. “It was just difficult at the time. Playing football and having so much in your head.
'For other people I am always the bustling man, but at the time deep down I was not that guy. I'm still not always that guy. It is difficult to mask that for a long time, but people may now understand me more and a few football players have contacted (for help).
'You know the S *** who get people on social media. Some people can hack and some people can't do that and then I read everything.
“Now I can't fly …”
With that in mind this is a conversation that ends where it started, the problems at his old club. I imagine that some former united players in the media are inclined to talk as if they have never had a bad game.
“Everyone looks at United,” he says. 'If you live in Manchester, you will have lunch or eat and have breakfast and have people follow. It is sometimes a lot. At the end of the day is everyone's man.
'Many of them (the experts) talk about many things, but to be honest, nobody knows what is happening behind the scenes. They will just give comments and make a statement. That's what they do.
'For me, happiness is the key and at the moment that is here. I love the culture, love the people. I feel good luck. '
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