Genius is normally a stranger to serenity, and that includes Pep Guardiola. Even as the football world has bowed to him, his triumph has always had a restless, searching and doubting quality.
The level of his psychological intensity was somewhat unnerving at times and yet endlessly inspiring, especially for his players, who feed off the relentless hunger for success, and fans, who love the sight of his emotional investment in the court.
It is his intensity that defines him, which was part of the reason why, as he walked into the press conference theater adjacent to Manchester City's training complex on Friday afternoon, a hundred pairs of eyes were fixated on the still-vivid gash in Manchester's bridge. his nose.
That wound and a collection of angry red streaks on his shaved head, inflicted by his own hand during City's 3-3 Champions League draw with Feyenoord on Tuesday night, had given alarming testimony to the extent of Guardiola's frustration and desperation.
In those circumstances, it can seem like there's a fine line between a press conference and an exercise in voyeurism. Certainly many in the match were worried about him, worried about the toll the job and City's situation seemed to be taking on him.
“That's something very personal,” said Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta, “but I feel a lot of sympathy for all my colleagues because I know the work, how ruthless this industry is and how we are only judged on one thing: results.”
City had lost their previous five games in a row and the way they conceded three goals against Feyenoord in the last fifteen minutes made it feel like they had lost a sixth too.
Guardiola indicated that the scars were caused by the sharpness of his fingernails while distractedly tearing at his skin.
Part of the fascination with those scars was that there was a clear symbolism in them. It was as if they were physical manifestations of the stunning reversal of fortune that has befallen City in recent months or more and of the problems they face.
It is not an unusual theme. There was a movie in the late 1980s called How to Get Ahead in Advertising where the main character developed a carbuncle in his neck that reflected his discomfort with his career.
But if Richard E. Grant's carbuncle continued to grow, Guardiola's scratches and scratches already looked less angry on Friday afternoon and he did not sit down in front of his audience to indulge in self-pity or self-loathing.
City, even with the enormous state resources at their disposal, are heavily dependent on Guardiola. The truth as they sail into the perfect storm of Liverpool's revival and their own energy-draining life-or-death battle with the Premier League over more than a hundred allegations of financial misconduct, is that they are relying on him more than ever.
Sometimes it feels as if Guardiola's genius, reputation and allure are all that stands between City and the fall of the edifice that Abu Dhabi's fortunes have so painstakingly built. It is why Guardiola agreeing a new two-year contract earlier this month was so crucial for the club.
Without him, many would focus on the more unpalatable aspects of owning the modern city. With him it is difficult not to be seduced by the beauty of the football that City plays.
In light of the maelstrom swirling around the club, Guardiola looked ahead to City's clash with Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday, in which they will fall 11 points behind Arne Slot's team if they lose, and opted for a quiet but fierce challenge. “We will be back,” Guardiola promised. “I don't know when, but it's the truth.”
He spoke softly, as he often does at these press conferences, and there was a nasal tone to his speech that suggested he was battling a virus, but he wanted to make it clear that he saw City's situation as a test of character and that he was not would do. shift.
“Success is how many times you get up, while you keep falling,” Guardiola said. “It's the only way we know. Of course, I think, what can I do to help the players, but in a long career as a manager you experience different situations.
'If you go through such a period, live and accept it. Don't blame. Don't run away from your responsibility. I want it. I want the responsibility. At this football club you have to win and if you don't, you will get into trouble.
“People say, 'Pep, why isn't he in trouble? Why isn't he fired?' But what we've done over the last eight years is why I have this margin. The people here trust me. The moment I feel like I'm not positive for the club, another one comes along. The club will make the solution, the decision they have to make.
'I don't want to run away. I want to be there. I want to rebuild the team in many ways from now until the end of the season and next season, to try to continue there. I have to prove myself now.'
The last time City won a match was on October 26, at home to Southampton in the Premier League. Since then they lost to Spurs, Bournemouth, Sporting Lisbon, Brighton and Spurs and drew against Feyenoord, which felt like a loss. In the process they conceded thirteen goals and scored seven.
They are still in the upper reaches of the Premier League, but are eight points behind Liverpool. They sit seventeenth in the Champions League and with away games at Juventus and Paris Saint-Germain in their remaining matches, their progress to the knockout stages is far from assured.
And yet only idiotic voices would call for Guardiola's dismissal. He is the outstanding coach of his generation and his hunger seems as great as ever. In fact, he seems even more driven than ever.
He pointed out, as gently as possible, that City have lost their best player, Rodri, for the rest of the season and that they have been without four centre-backs and that any team would suffer in those circumstances, no matter how good. their team.
Remember, Guardiola has just led City to a fourth successive league title, a level of dominance unprecedented in top-flight English football. It's only November and even though City are on the kind of run they've never experienced under Guardiola, he has all the managerial qualities to return the club to its former hegemony. Write him off now and convert at your leisure.
Most City fans readily accept that idea. Some seniors even admit to enjoying a bit of nostalgia about supporting a team that is once again facing setbacks after such a long period of excellence.
While in south Manchester earlier this week I went for a walk with a friend whose father took us to Maine Road, where he had season tickets for the North Stand, when we were eight or nine in the mid-1970s. and who has supported City through all the dark days.
He said he even sang one of the bittersweet songs beloved by City fans at the time, a time when City were viewed with affection by much of the rest of English football due to their continued setbacks.
He recited it to me as we walked. “We never win at home and we never win away,” the song goes. “We lost last week and we lost today. We don't care because we are all confused. MCFC, okay.”
There is a sense that Guardiola partly feels the same way. Obviously not in terms of not caring, but in terms of defying sentiment. The city boss kept returning to the image of someone who gets knocked down and gets back up again as a metaphor for success.
He suggested that what City have experienced in recent weeks, all the adversity that has come their way, the conceding of goals and the heavy defeats, is more representative of the game than the phenomenal success they have enjoyed.
His point was that every team has to suffer sooner or later, no matter how brilliant they are, and that now it is City's turn. He suggested that he and his players might discover more about themselves under these circumstances than when everything is running smoothly.
“I asked for that challenge and to do it,” Guardiola said, “because I feel it. I know what we need and what we have to do. We don't have that consistency now, but which team will be consistent in ten years?
'It's not nice to be alive, but what do you expect? That everything is easy? It's easy when everyone is fit and in great shape. Now, no. I have to put myself forward now. It's no excuse that Rodri isn't there.
'What should I do? Crying all the time? Because the four central defenders were not there? I have to find a solution and I try every day. We must not forget that three months ago we were Premier League champions. Football is changing.
'The only question I put on the table here that seems like an excuse is that the team is really good, but we don't have the team. It's not just Rodri, it's many players. We played two to three weeks without four central defenders and two holding midfielders.
'The road to sustainability is not there and so it is of course more difficult. Step by step. Did we play poorly against Feyenoord? But in the end it's not about playing well. It's about winning.
'Are we in a crisis? It's up to you what you write. We are second in the table. In terms of results, we are not at a good time. We are playing more than decently, but not enough to win games.
'Maybe we have to experience that as a club and experience these situations. When a team has controlled the Premier League for many years, it is normal for this situation to arise. Accept that the exception may have been in the past and not now.”
In the midst of this maelstrom, this situation that Guardiola has never experienced before, City must visit a ground where he has never won, except in the Covid season, when there were no fans at Anfield.
Liverpool are in rich form that gives them a good claim to be the best club in the world right now. On Wednesday they brushed aside Real Madrid. They are firm favorites to deepen City's misery.
City could well lose. They could well fall prey to what would be a sixth defeat in seven games. But as long as Guardiola stays, one thing is certain: they will be back.
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