The names Harry Pitman, Andre Salmon, Elianne Andam and Victor Lee may not mean much to you, because we seem to have become immune to the way they all died.
They were aged 16, 18, 15 and 17 when they became victims of knife crime and although Wednesday – World Children's Day – provides a reason to reassess how to cleanse this scourge from our society, it feels like we were here 100 years ago . times before.
It is often a neighborhood's mothers, sisters and aunts who lead the fight against this threat to the safety of our children. But the absence of an influential, guiding male presence in their lives is often at the root of the problem. A few weeks ago, a professional footballer in a meeting room in London's King Cross filled that gap.
This wasn't one of those perennial football PR opportunities. The session was deadly serious because seven young men sent by Brent's youth crimes service to take part presented various risks of becoming involved in knife crime. The person sitting at their table for three hours was Raheem Sterling, and after an initial fifteen to twenty minutes, when the boys seemed dazzled by the superstar in their midst, his status gradually gave way to something more important.
Sterling spoke to them in a way that made them realize that he had once been someone just like them. An adolescent who knew what the wrong side of the line looked like, in difficult early teenage years when he and his mother moved from house to house and he was repeatedly excluded from school.
There was a smile among the boys as Sterling described the different social groups at school at the time. “The cool group, the middle group and the nerds.” The “geeks” always seemed to be a bigger part of his world as exams approached, he said with a grin.
But Sterling listened much more than he spoke, and was comfortable with extended silences. As the group session evolved into several one-on-one conversations with the boys who were more reserved among the others, he pointed out the value of allowing outsiders – mentors – to help you when your family life is challenging. That's a difficult message to convey. Many children do not want to give in to the conditions they live with at home, for fear of negative consequences for their parents. “The fact that someone else was involved changed the course of my life,” Sterling told them.
That 'someone' was Clive Ellington, a former car dealership manager who had started volunteering as a mentor to young boys in Brent when he was assigned to nine-year-old Sterling, who was on the fringes of the education system. Sterling's father had died early and violently, and Sterling had been placed in a school with smaller classes and specialized help for children with emotional needs.
The one thing that seemed to get young Sterling out of himself — and make him laugh, Ellington noted — was football, even if he wasn't playing for a club. Ellington took him to a club he knew, Alpha and Omega FC, in Kingsbury, Brent. A fateful intervention.
“Raheem didn't say much, but when he did speak you saw the vulnerability and also the potential,” says Ellington. 'The key to helping him was to listen to him. We are very good at building support for children from where we want to be, but we don't take the time to see what the child needs. He sees that now.'
The Sterling who spoke to the boys in Kings Cross is the only one who knows it. The work of the foundation he set up under his own name funds knife banks, organizes mentoring sessions like the one with Brent boys and funds university places for boys like he once was. His own work for the foundation was one of many reasons why he flatly refused to accept Chelsea's attempts to sell him to Saudi Arabia this summer, opting instead to join Mikel Arteta at Arsenal.
Sterling recognizes Ellington's fundamental role in his life. “He played a big role in helping me see a different perspective,” he says. 'I was struggling because of the circumstances at home – I was always on the road – and I couldn't understand myself. As a child you don't understand what is going on, but at the same time you absorb what is going on. Clive helped me see different opportunities.'
He is speaking about his mentor and mentorship, as part of his foundation's support of a campaign being launched Wednesday by Multibank, the national network of donation centers that provide goods to people struggling with the cost of living, especially families with children. Football and rugby clubs across the country will support the same campaign, which focuses on the fight to afford basic hygiene products. Expect Multibank donation points at many clubs across the country in the coming weeks.
Ellington considers Sterling's ability to listen to be the greatest gift he can give. “As a mentor you must have a recognizable story and the willingness to give children your time,” he says. 'Understand them. Listen to them. Work them out. I see him doing all those things.”
For more information, please visit multibank.co.uk
They don't make them like they used to anymore…
Last week's reflections on Frank McAvennie playing two matches on opposite sides of the world in three days seemed to have struck a chord.
West Ham fan Ray Matsell explained how Bobby Moore, Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters played three matches in the three weeks between the 1966 World Cup final and the start of the 1966-67 season during West Ham's pre-season tour of Germany and Switzerland.
With the Hammers playing twice a week at the start of that season, they all played 11 games in the 43 days between the final and September 10 that year. Only one substitute was allowed – and only to replace an injured player. They don't make them like that anymore.
Gamesmanship before kick-off!
My grandson was captain of his under 9s for the first time on Saturday, although it was 'rock, paper, scissors' to decide who kicked off, rather than a toss. This was ripe for gamesmanship and our boy was certainly at it, delaying his scissor gesture a fraction until he could see his opponent's 'paper'. The referee was only a teenager, but she saw right through it. A replay was ordered. It's hard to see this catching on.
The stupidity about the 'Sarge' statue continues
Howard Wilkinson turned 81 last week, and although Leeds United acknowledged this on their social media account, it's astonishing that there's still no statue on Elland Road to the man they called 'Sarge' – who made Leeds English champions, just four years after he left them as a club languishing in 21st place in Division Two.
The Wright candidate for MOTD performance
BBC Radio 4 re-broadcast the deeply moving Ian Wright Desert Island episode last week, as good an episode as I can ever remember. It was a timely reminder that Wright is the top contender for Gary Lineker's post, coming remotely close to that combination of personality, perspective and deep understanding of the game. Wright is 61, which almost certainly rules out an offer amid the BBC's dizzying search for 'youth'.
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