The problem with teenagers, a main teacher told me this week, is that they try to live in two different moral universes.
He says that there is the moral universe that we all know, with his rules, conventions and appetizers.
And then there is a universe, the moral universe of the internet, where there are almost no rules and precious few pairs.
Ok, every day is a school day, so I take that on board and, only for the good measure, I will throw a third moral universe in this mix – the moral universe of football.
This, although not all bad, can indeed be a very ugly place.
I have not met Phil Foden, but from what I have seen and heard, as well as a wonderfully gifted football player, he is a decent man.
I spoke with one of his coaches at the youth level of England.
Summer of the attributes that Foden showed as a child – speed, consciousness, courage, command of the ball, etc. – The coach has added another, one that has been held in my mind.
“He gave him what his teammates thought,” said the coach.
Interesting that. You would think that giving what your teammates thought of you would be common enough to not even mention. It seems that this is not the case.
Phil, however, makes it around, and that is another reason why I keep it at a high level.
Perhaps that is why I was more shocked than usual in the behavior of football fans when I saw that photo of Pep Guardiola embraced after he had endured man Utd fans sang those horrible things about his mother.
Terrible. But incredible, for a considerable number of fans, such behavior is quite acceptable. Because, you see, this is in the moral universe of football where, for some reason, people who think it's ok to behave.
Declan Rice, Double Miracle-Freekick scorer and another nice guy, tolerates similar things with his old partner, the equally attractive Lauren Fryer.
Lauren, you see, does not meet the idea of some football fans about what the wife of a football player should look like. So the poor woman is abused on social media and, for the benefit of Declan, of the stands. Terrible.
This is what happens in the moral universe of football. We seem to forget that football players are people with, you know, feelings. No matter how thick their skins should be, they still have feelings.
I have been just as guilty of forgetting this as everyone. Many years ago, when I presented the game of the day 2, I joked to the baldness of Arjen Robben.
The following week I received a letter – yes, a letter, so long ago it was – from someone who said I would be ashamed of myself, because Robben could be very sensitive to his hair loss.
Initially I spotted and it was nice to answer that the multi-billionary-Dutch superstar of Chelsea could probably treat a jibe of mine.
But when I had thought about it, although the man himself probably couldn't have saved any less, I concluded that I had been very wrong to mock his appearance.
That was on TV. I am afraid that as a fan I said much worse in competitions.
I am not without sin
So I don't preach this sermon of a moral high ground because I am not without sin. I have to confess that I shouted things and sung on football matches that I would never, and I never mean, shouted or sung somewhere else.
I shouted a number of terrible things at Jack Grealish, for example during a play-off semi-final when he was in Villa. I am pretty sure that he doesn't care, but I can't say it's my best hour.
I don't excuse myself, but these things happen in the moral universe of football, where it is not that there is no right or wrong, but there is a large, bad gray area.
There is a line somewhere and we all know where it is.
Bawling abuse with a football player, who calls them terrible names, looks no good. But probably it is probably about the right side of the line.
The abuse of the family of those football players is a different matter. That is on the wrong side of the line.
It is outside of order, and everyone knows this.
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