Not everyone was a fan of Stoke City, Rory Delap and his long throw-ins in the late 1990s, but on November 29, 2008, they combined to create one of the greatest moments the Premier League has ever seen.
We loved Tony Pulis' Stoke team. Now, our gaffer is a Stoke fan, so you might think we're contractually obliged to say that – you're right – but it's actually true. And honestly, we could never understand why everyone else didn't love them.
Sure, it was annoying when it was your team they were shitting on, but other than that, what was not to like about watching them piss off the Premier League establishment?
So-called top teams panicked about long balls and longer throw-ins, conceded goals and then complained about it. And it was delicious.
For example, in October, in the space of just 90 minutes, Spurs keeper Heurelho Gomes punched Vedran Corluka, his own teammate, and then kneed him in two separate incidents as he tried to punch away long throws from Delap.
He was later caught on camera crying on the field as the aerial bombardment continued and got a crack in his ribs for good measure. Spurs also had two players sent off and conceded two penalties. All in the same game.
That was the standard fare at the Britannia Stadium at the time. Mama Sidibe scored an injury-time header from a Delap throw-in in a 3–2 win in Stoke's first home game of that season; the second against Everton produced two more goals from throw-ins, one of which was a Phil Jagielka own goal, and another send-off, this time for manager David Moyes after his side were denied a penalty in another five-goal match.
It seemed as if not a minute would pass without some incident: Stoke were able to get a throw-in on halfway and the fans slowly clapped as the big men ran forward and Delap prepared to send in another rocket.
It was total chaos and visiting players, managers and referees succumbed to the pressure week after week. We ask ourselves again: what was not to like about it?
By the time Hull visited the Briton, Stoke had played seven home games and scored six goals from throw-ins, including a pair against Arsenal, plus one away from home where wider pitches and a smaller baying crowd of City fans made Delap's weapon less effective. .
Still, you would think that Hull, having been promoted along with Stoke for their first-ever top-flight success, would have been better able to cope with the hosts' particular brand of football.
That said, they should have conceded a Delap throw last season when Boaz Myhill was caught in a crowd of players trying to pluck the ball out of the air, so there was some cause for concern.
So, buoyed by an excellent start that had earned him plenty of plaudits and led by Phil Brown, a man who relished the spotlight, it was perhaps inevitable that it would be the Tigers who would try something new first to stop Delap from adding anything adding them to his list of victims.
Dean Windass was, predictably, the man to get into the pantomime atmosphere, twice deliberately warming up to Delap as he prepared for a throw-in, earning him a yellow card for the second time.
But while that certainly added to the enjoyment of a Stoke home game at the time, it was also a clear sign that another team was for some reason making a fool of themselves for having to defend throw-ins.
And if there was any doubt that that wasn't the case, Myhill dispelled that doubt once and for all when, perhaps with the previous season's mistake in mind, receiving a back pass in an awkward spot, he gestured to to kick them out for once. but then remembered what would follow if he changed his mind and kicked the ball out for a corner instead.
You could say it worked – Hull successfully defended the corner and scored first before putting it back later – but really you have to ask yourself who wins if you're too scared to allow a throw-in.
Pulis' Stoke had gotten so deep into the minds of their opponents that Arsene Wenger famously suggested throw-ins should be banned, while complaints about towels, pitch dimensions and the placement of advertising hoardings continued on an almost weekly basis.
It was a constant media circus – and it was music to Pulis's ears. It upset teams and made them lose focus. And as Rudyard Kipling's poem goes: 'If you can keep your head while you lose theirs and blame you… you can turn a group of unglamorous players into an effective Premier League team'. Or something like that.
Sure enough, although the wheels would soon fall off Hull's wagon to such an extent that they would narrowly avoid relegation that season (instead they were relegated the following season), Stoke continued to improve away from the noise and finished 12th in the first of 10 consecutive years in the Premier League.
But while their fans may remember the days of Europe, three consecutive ninth-place finishes, Stokealona and the rest of what followed, for us neutrals there was no better moment than when Myhill kicked out for a corner because he was too scared of a throw. -in.
Glorious.
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